this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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