i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
