his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
