She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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