Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Holy shit dude........stairs
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