i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
