I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
