Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
