I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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