At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
