Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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