dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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