Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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