i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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