When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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