it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
