She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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