Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize