; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
try to milk me bitch
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