i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
