Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
