My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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