Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
