before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
