Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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