I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
