she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
