I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I intend to get homeless drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
