Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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