Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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