He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
