Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
