I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ladies don't puke and tell
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
