you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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