Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
