You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
