Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
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i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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