Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
