actually, I'm a sock model
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
