It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
