i was born a porn star she said
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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