oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
