why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize