So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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