I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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