As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
