Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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