apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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