how hairy? two words: wookie tits
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
