just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
