I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
