My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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