Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
