Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
