im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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