when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
false alarm. still invincible.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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