doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
