she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
