Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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