Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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