Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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