can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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