I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
