Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it wasn't lemon gatorade
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
