david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
