I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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