Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize