i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i dont even know how to be here
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
