do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
