Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
