I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
