By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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