I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
